'Dancing With the Stars' recap: Stars and stripes forever

There was a lot to celebrate this week, ballroom fans. We’ve reached the halfway point of the 12th season of “Dancing With the Stars." The 1000th competitive dance was going to be performed on this very show. And finally, this week was all about pledging allegiance to the Mirrorball and celebrating America, with all the routines performed to songs that salute the country. However, as Tom said, “we are now outsourcing dances,” to places like Brazil (for the samba) and Austria (for the Viennese waltz), and at times these mash-ups made for an interesting culture clash. But hey, that’s just another facet to this melting pot country, right? Bring out the stars … and stripes!

Back in the lead position were Hines Ward and Kym Johnson. And their sexy uniformed rumba, set to “Proud to be an American,” also paid tribute to the very American movie classic “An Officer and a Gentleman” and launched the duo up to the top of the charts where they belonged. Hines is swoonworthy on any day, but trot him out in uniform and you’d better be sure to have the smelling salts on standby. Especially when paired up with those gorgeous hip movements. Hines was a little worried that he’d be more caveman than gentleman in this bedroom dance, but man, the Pittsburgh Steeler was all smooth curves and no jagged edge in this performance. Kudos to Kym for not getting tangled in that long fringe, which deceptively covered up her barely-there outfit. Bruno commended Hines for his “ease of movement,” and “just the right amount of sensuality to make the ladies swoon.” Carrie Ann said Hines had “the best hip action I have seen.” Len went so far as to say he thought this was Hines’ best dance. I’ll salute to that. I’ll also tip my hat to all that “pillow love” that Hines had put in to get himself into the mood. It was enough to earn him and Kym three 9s and the lead in the competition, with a total of 27 out of 30.


Dropping to second place were Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas, though I really liked their samba, set to Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the U.S.A.” Chalk it up to Chelsea liking three things: U.S.A., partying and Miley Cyrus. Chelsea wanted to break the rules and shake up the samba, but Mark kept the routine on the straight and narrow. And I think that was the way to go. Chelsea’s fringe pants made up for any lack of hip action, but it was a fun nod to Route 66 and gas stations, and Chelsea’s long blond hair, long limbs and trim torso gave the Disney Channel star more than a passing resemblance to Stacy Kiebler. Bruno thought the routine had the best of both worlds: “You had all the party energy of America and the sizzle and the excitement of Brazil.” Carrie Ann liked how the two danced so well together. “I thought this was fantastic,” she said. Len got downright cheeky with his critique: “Yum yum what a bum!” he appraised. “This is a party, and I’m not talking a Tupperware party.” Though the head judge did dock for messing up the running promenades at the end. Total: 26.